Dear Reader, 

This blog is not a political forum. I preface this story with that statement because, dear Readers, I do not want to be bombarded with political agendas. And yet, for many, politics bestirs us. Whatever our affiliation, we care about what is happening in our communities. We bond when we feel “at home” with others about our beliefs or interests.  Often, we immediately form new friendships. I have experienced just such occasions with two very different discussion groups. Readers, where do you form friendships?

The first, I discovered the Friday Citizens Open Forum. While the Drop in With Debbie blog is not the place for a rousing political debate, I call to mind the words of Nobel Prize winner, essayist and art historian – Romain Rolland. “Discussion is impossible with someone who claims not to seek the truth, but already to possess it.” We put ourselves in a humble and educational place when we listen to others’ views. The Forum provides that important place for political discourse: it affords a treasure of information. Most weeks, Rick Fitzgerald is the host but he was out of town on the day I visited. That day’s leader was former educator, Dr. Mark Carrico. Now 78 years old, Mark’s career spanned all age groups from elementary to college, including time as a principal. 

So, discussion group starts with a 20-minute lecture on a current event. Then, the group goes around the table and each person, if they so choose, speaks for five minutes to share their views and weigh in on the topic. After that, the group goes around again with a three-minute discussion time allotted to each participant for closing remarks. The clock is monitored and kindly policed by a group member with a timer. This forum offers a well-thought-out and educational discussion. Are you a good listener and fair in your discussions with others?

Okay readers, I have to admit. I am a regular voter. I read up on the ballot issues with each election. I seek the daily news. However, in those short few hours, as I listened to the Friday Forum discussion, I learned more than I ever read by going online and following the topics. The day of my visit, the theme was addendums and referendums for the Colorado state election. As lecturer, Dr. Mark Carrico mentioned that only 42% of the registered voters voted in the 2016 election. Those attending this discussion group were NOT part of the 68% who did not vote. Quite the contrary, they felt it was their civic duty to understand the issues and vote. Mark said, “It is a way that I carry out my role as a citizen.”  

Barbara Anderson, age 84, was one of the participants. She and others in the group recognize the rich historical perspective their age brings to the current event topics. Barbara said, “I care about my community and want what is best from the local, state and federal government.” She said she enjoys and learns from the stimulating conversation of other like-minded adults, and added, “I am interested and curious about what other people are thinking”.

Her thoughts reminded me of Mortimer Adler. He was an educator and author who, at one point in his career, worked at Encyclopedia Britannica. He said, “You must be able to say “I understand,” before you can say “I agree,” or “I disagree,” or “I suspend judgment.” Adler’s view was a common characteristic of the members of the Forum. 

Another participant, Rich Hansen, age 75, does not minimize his need and desire to be involved. He said he is “strongly committed to engaging in the group’s discussions. It is important and I enjoy it”. Lecturer Mark Carrico said, “This is education. I give and I receive here.” 

I often avoid the topic of politics, even though I have strong views, because I do not want to offend others or get into any kind of negative conversation. This group allows people who want to learn, as well as those who have given much thought to the political process, a place to hear and speak their opinions. It is managed in a kind democratic way that allows each person’s viewpoint to be heard without interruption. Whatever view we hold on current governmental affairs, the group mutually shared that there are consequences to our political choices and Rich added, “We need to be informed.”

So, now on to my next discussion group. This time it was the Single Women’s Social Group. The group invitation reads, “Are you a single woman looking for a way to make new friends? Come have lunch with us and enjoy socialization with other supportive single women.” Now, Readers, my assumption was that it might be about the struggles of being single or maybe even a little man-bashing or talks about the woes of life. However, it was truly just what the description says “a way to make new friends”. Wilma Cocannouer, the host of the group and also a Senior-to-Senior Peer Counselor said, “We are a laid-back casual group” and she added “the conversation is up to the group”. She said, “We stay away from politics and religion.” 

The group starts by eating together, and just like family around the dinner table, talk was at times in small intimate conversations among two, and at other times, everyone joined in the discussion. I had packed my lunch that day, but when I found out that Derrick, from the Longmont Café would carry a tray in our meeting room to those of us who needed help (remember I’m in a wheelchair) – well, my peanut-butter and jelly sandwich stayed right in my lunch bag and I ordered the Café’s Swedish meatballs dinner.  

I’m always curious of folks’ age and Wilma gave me a delightful answer – “I’m old enough to know better, but too young to resist the temptation,” she giggled.  Throughout the visit, conversations flowed smoothly. Some shared funny stories about aging. A few participants now have children who are seniors themselves, and talk centered on family including grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Childhood memories and navigating mother-child relationships was another part of the free-flowing conversation. 

One topic was the kind of gifts we like or don’t like now that we are seniors.  For example, most of us have more than enough things than we need in our home. Some participants said a gift certificate or a card that say how much they love us means so much more rather than receiving another item to sit in our home. What is a gift that you like? Why? 

 

The conversation moved to a discussion about driving as seniors. Eva Nemcik told about Senator John McCain’s mother, Roberta McCain.  According to the New York Times, when Roberta was 90-years-old, she was visiting France and wanted to rent a car but was told she was too old. Too old to rent a car, but not to buy one — so, not one to be stopped, she bought a car (a Peugeot). She used it during her stay in France and then had it shipped to the United States. From there, Roberta drove it from the east coast to San Francisco. Do you have an independent streak in you? How does it manifest?

Wilma also gave me a delightful challenge during that visit. Let me explain. Earlier that week, Wilma had been in the food line at Taco Bell. A woman in front of her was a stranger. This woman turned and said “I’m going to buy your lunch today.” Wilma gave the woman a gracious “thank you” and then added to the stranger, “because of what you did today, I will pass on lunch to someone else”. Well, before the meeting started, when I had decided to forgo that peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I was getting ready to head down the hall to the Café to order my food, but Wilma stopped me. She told us the Taco Bell story and said she was paying it forward with kindness by treating me to lunch. So, the challenge was for me to find someone in my life and buy them an unexpected lunch. That’s a challenge I gladly accepted. Have you ever been the recipient or the giver to a “pay it forward” moment?  Tell us, please.

For those of you considering whether this is a place for you to meet a new friend, I can assure you that there are smiles and generous hearts there to greet you.  What is something others do that makes you feel welcomed in a crowd?

I came away from both discussion groups with profound insight for my need to be a more mindful and respectful listener. So many times, when talking to others, I am not paying attention to their words as closely and empathetically as I should. Instead, I am planning my comeback – my clever response. Australian-born motivational speaker, Matthew Kelly, says, “The more each person can remove his or her ego from the discussion and focus on the subject matter, the more fruitful the conversation will be for all involved.” Be it politics, art, exercise, or social connections, there is an endless list of things that we feel passionate about in our lives and in our society. Do you have a social network where you can learn and discuss your thoughts with others? Are you a good listener? Are there topics you avoid? If so, what topics?

In last month’s blog, I shared the Flight Deck Grill at the Longmont Vance Brand airport with all of you. The responses were overwhelming of those who had their own flying stories and interest in visiting my oasis. As well, the folks you met in that blog were a delight to many readers. One such reader from Israel, Jeannie, wrote, “It’s amazing how the stories of people’s lives can inspire us and encourage us in our daily life.  It is the small things in life that are really the big things.” Susana, from Longmont, said, “I love being around people, especially my family, grandchildren and friends, however I also need quiet moments of solitude and connection with nature and God.” So, she said she finds her oasis at the Left Hand Creek. On an aside, only one person guessed my favorite place was the airport. Good job, Virginia, for paying attention to my excitement in our many letters as I described the fun and most interesting people I meet at the airport.

Until next month, may peace be at your side, 

Debbie Noel

We have several ways to interact with Debbie!

• Email her at DroppingInWithDebbie@gmail.com

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• Send your letters to:

Debbie Noel
C/o Longmont Senior Center
910 Longs Peak Avenue
Longmont, Colorado 80501

Friday Citizens Open Forum is held at the Longmont Senior Center each Friday from 1:30 pm to 4 pm every Friday afternoon.

Single Women’s Social Group meets the 1st, 3rd, and 5th Tuesdays, 11:30 am – 1:00 pm. You can either bring your lunch or buy lunch from Meals on Wheels here at the Senior Center.

The host, Wilma, also co-hosts  with Pat Siedfchlag the Pot Luck and Games that is held on the 4th Saturday of each month at the Senior Center. That event is open to both men and women.

Senior-to-Senior Peer Counselors are experienced, trained volunteers who can provide support and understanding from one senior to another. The Senior Center program offers up to twelve free, confidential counseling sessions for older adults seeking emotional support regarding life transitions, relationships, grief, caregiving, etc. Family members or friends caring for an older adult may also utilize this service as goals relate to the caregiving experience. To see if peer counseling might be a good fit for you, please call Brandy Queen, LPC, at 303-651-8414 to schedule an intake appointment.

Longmont Senior Center Café serves lunch from 11:30 to noon. The charge is on a sliding scale based on income: anywhere from $1.50 – $5.00 for seniors and $6.00 for everyone else. Menus are posted online at www.lmow.org  or can be picked up at the Senior Center after the first of each month. Call Karla Hale, executive Director of Longmont Meals on Wheels, which includes the Longmont Center Café at 303-772-0624 for more information.